Need some input - high schoolers emotional up and downs

[MissA86]

Hi Everyone ... my name is Anissa. I work in a TA type of position and I am sure myself like so many others of you see so many high schoolers (all ages I am sure) who have their emotional meltdowns in the classrooms for one reason or another.

I can't help but wonder as one who is not a teacher but someone who does have a heart for high schoolers asking myself how can I help??

I wonder what could be provide (money not being an object (I've been taught its ok to dream a little) as a resource for teachers either in extra hands and bodies in a classroom or outside mentors to come in, educational resources or workshops for teachers, student assemblies, classroom guest speakers on specific topics, or?????

My heart breaks for the students as well as for you teachers who are overburdened and underpaid and yet still want to love on these kids in the midst of it and yet don't know how, don't have the time, energy or resources to do it etc. I am asking you who have years of experience.

I would love ideas ... suggestions on how you deal with it, wish list of what you wish you could have access to etc. I know you all deserve pay raises but as one person in a TA position I know I can't do that! :cry2:

But I would love to be a catalyst to being a support to the educational system as a whole and not just in my small part of a building.

Thank you for any replies ahead of time.

[Brit]

I don't have years of experience yet, but speaking as someone from the elementary panel, I'it makes sense to me to hit problems before kids become big enough to do real damage to themselves or others. I want social workers in every school at every age level to work with the families of kids who need extra emotional support. I want those kids not to be the only the worse cases, but any kid who might seem even a little "off". I know I was one of those kids that the teachers probably wondered about but figured I'd make it though. I wonder if I'd not have developed full-blown anxiety attacks if I'd had some sort of counselling when I was 8 or 9?

I want social workers to help at-risk families (any family that doesn't spend a ton of time together -- even high-paid executive parents can be high-risk if their kids are being farmed out and developing bad behaviours) provide better home lives for their kids. I want kids who should be removed from bad situations removed quickly. I don't believe school social workers should be little more than truancy officers. We need more, the kids deserve more.

I think the system is overstressed when it comes to dealing with kids with emotional needs, so we go to where the big trouble is-- the older kids who can do real damage to themselves or others. But how much can be averted if we make sure every child is set up with a secure, stable, and loving home life? How much more balanced might kids be if we start when problems begin to peek through in primary and junior grades, before hormones hit?

In highschool, I believe in a perfect world, every kid would be assigned to a mentor/counselor they would meet with on a regular basis. Kids who have no problems can use the time to talk about course choices, etc. Kids who have problems can build a rapport and have someone to go to. I know in theory this is how it is in many schools, but in practice, do the kids really get those regular meetings once a week or once a month?

[Boxcar]

I agree about having social workers and other qualified professionals available to help students. The early years are when the foundations are laid. Sometimes that responsiblity is overwhelming and scary for me. I know that I have to be on top of delays in development, behavioural hurdles, and diversity tolerance because the earliest years are vital. I believe Head Start is a great program. It should be expanded and further developed.

I also feel that the schools should be more willing to work with the little ones who have "off" behaviours. My center has a high number of at-risk and challenging children. Yes, it is very hard to address some of these students. I make mistakes all the time. However, it isn't okay to send the child away just because it makes life easier. Having a support system in place to educate teachers and assist the students is essential.

[Brit]

boxcar, when you say "off" behaviours, what does that make you think of? I'm new to teaching, and that strikes a chord with me. I know one little one who I think is "off". It's not academic. she can do just fine when she gets down to it. But something in her mood, in the way she carries herself, in the way she talks...I don't know exactly what I think I'm seeing -- I just think something's there. Is that what you mean? Am I crazy to seek professional support for her when I can't document much? I mean, who's going to give a consult for "shoulders hunched, talks to her belly button" or "in the bathroom 15 minutes twice today"?

I guess I don't have the background experience to know what is within the "normal" range for this age group. I just have a feeling she could use some help. in a perfect world, she'd have seen a counsellor by now, and be seeing one regularly to figure out what's going on, if anything.

[Boxcar]

First, I check to make sure what I'm seeing isn't a cultural difference. Then, I start documenting. I'd document what you said. Chances are, you will see a pattern. The overall heading might be "Avoids eye contact." or "Removes self from social situations." or "Defensive body language." These are red flags. Staying in the bathroom for a total of a half hour or scrunching up when addressed by an adult might be the palest of pink flags, but over time a pattern will be evident. What your pink flags add up to is what you can then seek a referral for.

Remember, you can be a counselor too. I work hard to form a relationship with my students. This year, it is really hard with some of them. The little attitudes... However, you don't have to get serious first. You'd be surprised what might clues might arise from a conversation about a child's pet or their light-up shoes!

Trust your instincts. I couldn't give you a sketch of a "normal" four year old, but I do know when something isn't right. Then, I try to remain open to what I observe. I'll give an example from awhile back. There was a child who was incredibly bright and very well-behaved. Yet, I noticed that she would withdraw at certain points during the day. She seemed to want to spend time alone or with an adult. I had my attention caught by this. It was very subtle but present. I started watching to see when she would begin to close in on her self. It turned out that she needed some assistance with social skills. She had trouble entering the group and then maintaing her role as the game evolved. With some support and modeling of the appropriate stratigies, she became much better. Had no one noticed that she needed that little nudge, she might have continued to avoid social situations when change and varying expectations overwhelm her.

[lynn bambusch]

When a kid has an "emotional breakdown" it is usually because they don't feel like their needs are being understood or met. If you can help them learn how to express their needs, maybe you can help them. Sometimes you just have to listen and they will talk, but with older kids, I have given them a journal to write it. They might share what they write, or it might just be a relief to them to write it out and they won't share it. Once you know what is setting off the behavior you can figure out who else needs to be involved. Social workers are great, but really busy. I think the biggest thing is just to let them know you care and are listening. It can be heartbreaking but you can make a huge difference in the life of someone in pain.

[David]

My main wish is to have much smaller class sizes. 15 would be ideal. I find at the end of the day I haven't given all of the children in my class the attention that they deserve.