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View Full Version : I really wish this would stop...


Spectre
12-05-2008, 04:10 PM
As I've said previously, I love my 6th graders (they know it too), like my new school, and like the community it is in, but some of the teachers on staff are driving me to distraction.:angry:

I figured this would happen again. Sadly, it did. :(

That same teacher, on a different grade level, the one who fussed me out about returning the microscopes in poor condition, who has watched and commented on everything I've done (or so it seems) and took me to task over students getting drinks in the teacher work area, was waiting for me outside my classroom door this afternoon, after the students left.

The scenario was the same.

"Got a minute?" came the question. She wore that same "honked off" expression she did the other time. :angry2:

But I had a surprise for her this time.

"No, actually, I don't," I replied with no rancor in my tone at all.

The startled look on her face was almost comical.

With that, I turned and walked back up the hallway in the direction I came from.

"Might I ask why?" she shouted after me.

At first, I said nothing, just kept walking. This woman was not going to provoke me into another semi-confrontation. :gabby:

"If you're going to sign up to use the computer lab, the very least you can do is use it!" she shouted at me, as I rounded the corner on my way to the front office. I bit down hard on my bottom lip, and kept walking, quickening my steps. I sensed she would come after me and, to my horror, she did.

"Others of us could have used that computer time!" she called after me. I could hear her steps coming up the hallway.

This whole thing was taking on an air of unreality. :idontknow:

Turns out that she was upset that I did not take my classes to the computer lab yesterday, even though I had signed up for its use. We had finished working on the project I had started earlier in the week, did not need the additional time, and had simply forgotten I had reserved another day. Yes, it was my fault.

She just couldn't let it go at that.

"Other teachers have rights here too!" she shouted (and I mean shouted) from a position now about 30-40 feet behind me and her words echoed up the hallway, right past a gathering of students in front of our media center. Of course, they immediately took interest and began watching.

How much is a guy supposed to take?

I finally turned around, looked her square in the eyes, and replied:

"You're right! Like the right to not be stalked and scrutinzed by every insecure teacher on staff!"

Mia culpa! MIa culpa! Mia culpa!:o

Durn! She just had to keep after me until I was provoked. And I had to be enough of a dummy to fall into her trap.

The kids didn't say a word, but I know they heard every syllable of what was said.

I turned again and stalked off in the direction of the front office. I had had me enough.

The head man was not there, but one of the assistants was. I spilled my innards. the man, a retired army helicopter pilot (and a war vet like me) listened, then laughed aloud. He wasn't laughing at me, but at the situation.

It turns out that I am not the only "newby" she has done this with. He told me that it has been almost a rite of passage, particularly with men, especially 6th grade teachers (she does 7th) and particularly science teachers.

I acknowledged my fault and imperfection but told him I feel as though I am being stalked. He laughed again and said I most likely was :punch:, but that it would most likely stop once she knew I had gone to higher authority about it.

I most certainly hope so.:shootme:

He assured me of that which I, thankfully, have already heard....that the rest of the school community thinks very highly of me. So do my students, so do their parents, and so did he and the rest of the administration.

I just don't want any more run ins with this person.:confused:

Bananas
12-05-2008, 05:24 PM
Sorry this persists for you. Since the admin said it should stop once she knows you went to the higher-ups, this might be nipped in the bud. If not, the next time she approaches you, you can calmly tell her that you are willing to talk to her with admin present. That just might squelch it.

Reita13
12-05-2008, 07:22 PM
makes one wonder why (how) she still has a job if she is so rude? to other teachers.... I made one comment to another teacher in our school about a student situation and was called on the carpet for it!

teacher5
12-05-2008, 07:30 PM
I guess this woman is a well tenured teacher, and get the results the admin. wants with her classes. I also guess she thinks everyone who becomes part of your faculty has to go through her fraternity or sorrority initiation! So accorrding to the military guy, you passed initiation! You went to admin. and told them about this situation, and now it should stop. What she does or says is one thing. What the kids are doing and learning, and the parents being supportive, and the admin. knowing you are doing a terrific job; that's what counts. Just remember that! Hopefully, this can be put to rest. Good luck! Happy Holidays.

hweber
12-06-2008, 04:22 AM
Why do established teachers do this to 'newbies'? What right do they have to make us feel like dirt just for joining their fraternity of teachers?

Oak Tree
12-06-2008, 05:01 AM
Spectre, it's obvious that what she really needs is another kind of satisfaction. Maybe you could help her out there and make everyone a little happier? Imagine what a loon she must be to her students. Do your duty man!

Spectre
12-06-2008, 05:21 AM
Why do established teachers do this to 'newbies'? What right do they have to make us feel like dirt just for joining their fraternity of teachers?

Exactly.

Only, I am hardly a new teacher, just new to this school. this is year #26 for me.

Some of my cohorts (other 6th grade teachers) think it's a matter of her feeling threatened by a new presence. This will not sound nice, but I've found, in my many years in the classroom, that women seemed threatened by the presence of men in what used to be a profession dominated almost exclusively by women.:confused2:

No, that isn't true in all cases or even most, but I've seen it a number of times and I know it to be a real factor. I've had some ugly things done to, said about and said to me and much of it had to do with my gender. Some mothers have joined in the bashing as well. Sad, but true.

As to the established teachers having to put the newbies through some rite of initiation, that just seems to be a part of the teaching culture. Well....at least in some places.

My current school has only been open for 10 years and some of the faculty have been there since the beginning. Not sure if this particular teacher is one of the originals or not. I've seen this kind of thing in action, too. I guess they feel that anyone who comes to "their" school, has to prove themselves worthy.

Methinks it also has to do with establishing the ole "pecking" order too...in other words...I've been here longer than you and you gotta do what I say and how I do.

As I've said already, I am not particularly worried, just annoyed. things are going really well in my classes.

I am concerned about one thing, though.

Experience has shown that people like this will do or say whatever they need to in order to make their "point" or establish their dominance. I ran into a very meddlesome mother, years ago, who was a former science teacher. After seeing her in action, I knew why she was a former teacher. She was a very influential member of the community, a small southern town near Greensboro, North Carolina, had a lot of political pull, a big mouth, and a great deal of sway with a small, but active group of mothers. They very nearly ruined my life and my career.

You know...:wowee:maybe that is my underlying fear in all of this....

Maybe I better reactivate my membership with NEA....

irish223
12-06-2008, 07:21 AM
I think I would ask your admin if you can request that the abusive/stalking teacher communicate with you via email only.

muinteoir
12-06-2008, 09:40 AM
What a goofball. Your admin is aware now, she'll probably back off. If she doesn't, offer to sit down with her and the admin to clear the air. Apologize for not cancelling your reservation or whatever and insist that she behave in a respectful and professional manner with you.

dsmms
12-06-2008, 01:58 PM
Exactly.

Only, I am hardly a new teacher, just new to this school. this is year #26 for me.

Spectre, Just imagine what a newbie would feel like in this situation. Perhaps fate has placed you here for a reason. Nobody should not have to deal with this abuse. We all make mistakes, but there is no need for abuse and humiliation.

How about this? Fall to your knees in a very dramatic fashion and scream "YOU'RE RIGHT! As you beg her forgiveness, cry, crawl, wail that you will never, never, ever perform such an evil, hanus act of forgetting to take your reservation off the list again. With slobber frothing from your mouth, start slapping yourself as punishment while you plead for other ways to make amends. Just a thought...:wowee:

Sheesh, it just all sounds so petty and ridiculous. You would think that she would want the working environment to be pleasant. She has problems. But you know what? She will make a mistake someday, and my guess is that she will get back what she has dished!

nandz238
12-11-2008, 08:00 PM
I think in every job environment there's always a couple of nuts and teaching ranks the highest...

Spectre
12-12-2008, 07:10 AM
I think in every job environment there's always a couple of nuts and teaching ranks the highest...

That's been my observation too.

Administration has told her, directly, to lay off, stop trying to be my "personal disciplinarian" and that if she has anymore concerns, she needs to bring it to them and let them deal with it.

Not sure if this is a good solution, but it is one way to get her to stop publicly confronting me.

August
01-03-2009, 04:20 PM
Oh my goodness!! I am a new teacher this year and thankfully I have not encountered any such dreadful colleagues!

David
01-04-2009, 01:31 AM
It's true that every work environment has its share of nuts. I find it very easy just to shut these people out of my mind because I know in reality there is very little they can do to me. My greatest pleasure comes in closing my classroom door and being in my own worldl

AtoZ
01-07-2009, 07:07 PM
From what you've said so far, it seems to me that you were right on with the "insecure" thing...

Maybe she's not a bad person. Maybe she does not intend to be a bully. But she does see another good teacher (let's assume that she's still there because she's a good teacher) whom the administration, kids, and parents respect and she feels threatened.

Granted, in our field, we really shouldn't see other good teachers as competition, but some do. She's jealous. Take it as a compliment :) (yeah, I know, that behavior is still annoying)

I had the misfortune of starting my career with such a teacher...she was my master teacher :eek:

Spectre
01-08-2009, 03:04 PM
I had the misfortune of starting my career with such a teacher...she was my master teacher :eek:

Oh no. A fate worse than dandruff!

Adrienne
01-09-2009, 01:21 PM
I agree - she sounds insecure and she's taking it out on you, especially if you are as well liked by the other teachers, students, and parents as the administration said. It's sad that some people choose to treat others this way. Though at the same time it is kind of comforting to know that things don't really change from high school that much, lol. There are still bullies and cliques and all that rubbish. But now you're older and wiser and better able to handle it all. It sounds like you handled it nicely. Now it's the administration's turn to back you up and put a stop to this.

Makes you wonder, though... how many brand new teachers did she scare away into a different profession if not just a different school?

Spectre
01-09-2009, 04:37 PM
Our administration does seem to have put a stop to this, as I pointed out earlier, even going so far as to suggest that this person look for another school to teach in at the end of this year. She already HAS run some people off, apparently, and this little incident with me has tipped the scale.:gabby:

I've only seen this person once since returning to school this past Monday and then, only in passing. We said nothing to one another and that suits me just fine.

I've made a point to arrive at different times in the morning and to park FAR away from where this person usually parks. Well...not really far away, but far enough so that I don't risk another encounter. I'm not hiding or fleeing, just being prudent.:D

She is going to have to go out of her way to encounter me again and if she does that and gets unpleasant, then I am going to do like I vowed I would do and file charges of harassment. My administration already knows that I will do this.

Geesh, our jobs are tough enough without having to face this kind of thing and I don't plan on facing it anymore. For awhile there, it affected how I did my job and, I fear, how I related to my fellow teachers and to my students. Feeling like you're being stalked or put under surveliance will do that to a person.

A million thanks to all of you for being so supportive and putting up with my ranting.:)

hweber
01-10-2009, 06:58 AM
I hope that all continues to go well for you. I have a similar situation with a fellow teacher that I have to work closely with every day. Makes for a fun day. I am truly thinking about leaving teaching after this year. I wonder if it is all worth it?