feeling really upset

[serenity]

I feel like I do such a good job at my school and I don't get recognized for it by my boss. I am constantly complimented by my peers for my creativity. The kids reward me constantly by learning and being excited by what I do and really appreciate me. That should all be enough but instead I am sitting here feeling depressed. She loves to point out any minor flaw she sees. She also doesn't point these out with suggestions or recommendations for fixing the problems. They aren't really even big problems and I am not even sure they exist anywhere but her mind. But it is really bugging me. My coworkers tell me it is because she is insecure and/or jealous of the job I do and the teaching she doesn't do but even if that were true, it doesn't make me feel any better. I just wish she would recognize me for what I do instead of always making me feel bad by her comments. Or better yet, I wish I had the ability to just shake peoples comments off and recognize them for what they are and keep doing the good job I do every day with pride. Anyway, just looking for some uplifting words her because I don't want to feel like this all weekend.:(:cry2::cry:

[Spectre]

Listen to your coworkers. :)

There is wisdom in what they tell you.

People who simply find flaw and then offer no word of encouragement for making things better are very flawed themselves. They do, indeed, feel threatened and insecure by anyone who seems to excel or seems to draw praise from others.

You say coworkers compliment you and the students like being in your class? If all this is true, then you've got it "going on" for sure. :D I've played the education game for over a quarter of a century and can tell you that if all this is true, it doesn't get any better than that! Truly.

I know about this from a personal perspective as well.

My "mother" was like this person you describe. She often found flaw with what I did and even when she offered "praise," it came off as phony and insincere. And, yes, it hurt, hurt badly. Doubtless, it affected the kind of person I became, for a major part of my life.

But I think I have risen above that now. Time can be a magnificent healer. So can other people you come into contact with.

Believe your coworkers and your students. They are far wiser than your administrator. Believe that.:clap:

[Liz/AK]

I used to work for someone like that. He always found something that I was doing wrong and when I did it, he would always tell me about it in a way that made me feel dumb. Occasionally he'd tell me I was doing a good job, but that sounds sort of hollow after all of the times I had my hand slapped.
I found that it was almost motivational and spurred me to keep pushing to do better and try harder, even though I wanted to sit and lick my wounds. I shed many tears over that man, thankfully, I no longer work there.

[teacher5]

:) I have been teaching a long long time, and you truly have it good if your co-workers and kids recognize you for your talents. You need to rise above the jealousy of your boss. As I would like to say, put a little butter on your ears and brain and let those comments slide down the drain. If you are lucky you will outlast her tenure. And then don't be surprised if another principal comes in with a different problem you will need to deal with. Remember, education is a business. We have good and bad bosses. Just be careful that the principal doesn't put it in your end of the year evaluation or on your observation reports. If this occurs, you will need to seek the advice of a union rep. or hire legal counsel. Good luck!

[Ima Teacher]

A former principal readily admitted that she did not compliment us like she should. I often felt like the focus was on the negatives and all the good things we did weren't good enough.

However, we learned that was just her style, and she really didn't mean anything personal by it. It was just her personality. I believe that she did truly recognize that we did things well . . . because it would be noted in evaluations, but in day-to-day workings of the school, it always seemed like there was something that needed fixing. We didn't celebrate milestones enough. It's more like we made one milestone just so we could start working on the next one.

Of course, I know that we shouldn't be praised for things and ignore other issues, but an hearing someting positive every now and then would have been nice, too.

[serenity]

Thanks for the kind words. I "know" all this in my head, but in my heart sometimes I cannot stop the words from tearing me up. All of my evaluations are glowing and I am recognized that once a year as being great. But it's like someone here said, it falls flat and feels insincere after the other comments. The other thing that is bothersome is I go completely unnoticed most days...no hello, have a good day, have a good night, etc. though she goes out of her way to say these to every other teacher. It's just tough is all. I needed a boost from others. That's why I posted. Thanks.

[seastarmath]

Some people just can't give compliments. Some are just plain mean. Sounds like your boss doesn't have any people skills. (Good thing she got out of the classroom.) She probably rarely has a good word about anyone unless she WANTS something. It is always hard to deal with someone like that and really hard to work for them. Is this person the principal/vice principal or a teacher supervisor?

[SiobhanMarie]

Desiderata - by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

[christine]

I loved my last principal, but he rarely complimented anyone. The upside was that when he did, it meant a lot. He also had no problems pointing out what he saw as issues in a class, but unlike your principal always did so with a recommendation for improving our practice. Keep in mind that your students and your peers likely have a much better idea what's going on in your classroom than your principal. :)

[serenity]

She is still in the classroom. Poor little kids. She is a grade leader.

[seastarmath]

Ah! Then I suspect jealousy. Some people are very threatened by the success of others. They feel it reflects on them: if You are great, then I am not. Lord knows where their reasoning comes from, but there you have it. I think it stems from insecurity. As long as your principal knows you are doing a great job, I wouldn't give Miss Insecurity another thought.

[MissTeach]

It is nice to be praised by the boss, but it isn't necessary. Knowing that your students appreciate you and that they are learning is much much more important. Throughout my long career, I have had all kinds of administrators. I have learned to work with all of them, even when I didn't really care for them. I also learned to put my efforts into my classroom and not worry about what was happening elsewhere. Now I have many former students telling me how much they learned and that they want their children in my classroom. That is bittersweet; bitter because I feel old, but sweet because they learned from me!!