Co-Worker Becomes Principal ... awkward...

[OtterPopStar]

My co-worker became principal last year. This was her first year. She taught 9th grade so she was not ever a direct teacher with me, but it is awkward. We taught for 7 years together and were friendly but not social friends.

Now a lot of stuff that was fine when *she* was a teacher is no longer fine, and since she used to do it she jumps on people that she knows does it (like showing movies that are rented from Blockbuster instead of purchased through the school fund).

I feel really unsure of myself because she is friendly when we talk, but then I get these emails that feel like I am being chastised ("Please be aware that I expect you to do hall duty every period, thank you."). Why doesn't she just say THAT to my face? She'll talk about her son's soccer game for 20 minutes, or show me her new shoes, but anything professional is done with email and she addresses me in email as MS. and signs DR., but in daily conversations or emails where she needs a favor, she uses both of our first names.

Part of me needs to vent and part of me really needs advice, because I am walking on eggshells and debating if I should look for a new job. THere is not anything listed in our district for my areas yet.

[Chef Dave]

Why don't you just sit down and talk to her as honestly and as candidly as you are with this board?

Tell her how you feel and make the gentle observation that when she was a teacher, she did many of the things that she's now addressing as an administrator.

Keep in mind that as a first year administrator, she's really feeling her way through her job. In some respects, being a first year administrator is like being a first year teacher.

Should she be friendly? Should she be permissive? If she is too friendly and too permisive, will teachers take advantage of her?

If you approach a discussion from the viewpoint of constructive criticism and avoid being angry or casting blame, I think you could help this person grow as an administrator.

With regards to the e-mail, why don't you think about it this way? Do you share every concern with a parent by having a face to face meeting or do you send a note home? Most teachers don't have the luxury of time to have a face to face meeting with every single concern. They write notes. They make phone calls. Some even send e-mails.

I would imagine that being an administrator is very similar.

[Stuka]

Another thought I had while reading Chef Dave's post is weather she is emailing a list of people... it could even be everyone one is Bcc (blind carbon copy) because if you are, you wouldn't see any other reciepiant. I don't know if that helps anything, but maybe it will.

[upnorthteacher]

I agree with Chef Dave and had another thought, also. Perhaps she is having difficulty making the transition from being a co-worker/friend to being the boss. She may be uncomfortable having those "boss" discussions face to face, and finds it easier to simply send an email without having to deal with your reactions to her directions.

[MissTeach]

I had a similar experience. I had an administrator that I taught with for several years. He was never in his classroom; instead he sit in the lounge and drank coffee with his buddies. He just told the students to read and answer questions, and then he would assign research papers. After becoming an administrator, he became the enforcer of all rules and regulations. He even interrupted the rules differently than anyone before him. He was never polite, just Mr. Enforcer! Several of us had a difficult transition with him. However, in a couple of years he relaxed and became a human again.

[DarrenB]

Definitely don't leave just because of this one administrator. Admins come and go, but the teachers truly make the school what it is. Try not to take email communications as direct negative acts towards you. Email is not good at nuanced communication and often comes across as being more blunt than the writer intended.

Speak with this person and ask how the transition to admin has been going. You might find that she/he is having a difficult time and is just barely hanging in there.

[Boxcar]

I agree with everyone. You should talk with her. Use lots of "I" statements. Let her know you can see her perspective. Be gentle and constructive.

[ChocolateNewOrleans]

it doesn't sound like she's doing anything wrong, rather, you are upset that she is telling you what to do. You still view her as a peer, not a boss and that's the problem.

The Blockbuster thing, that's a BIG no-no and she may not have realized it last year. Even if she did, there's a difference between being responsible for only one's self as opposed to now, she's responsible for everyone.

It's one thing to take a risk when it affects you, it's another thing when someone else puts your job at risk like you are doing by showing Blockbuster video's

Also, remember, emails are documentations of correspondance. This way, you can't say "you never told me". This email is proof you were told.

This has nothing to do with her inability to adjust to the posistion, it's your inability to adjust. She sounds like she is doing just fine.

[Deb]

The same thing happens in a business setting. When one is promoted to a supervisory position, it takes a few months to stop being "one of the girls" or "one of the guys". The transition is awkward for the person promoted, as he/she now has both authority and responsibility for former peers, and those who were peers realize the relationship will change, but don't know immediately how it will change.

Don't be so sensitive, give both you and your new principal a few months to adjust to the role changes, and if you can talk to her without becoming defensive or emotional go for it. If you are going to wear you heart on your sleeve, don't try to have the discussion yet. It will only make an awkward situation more awkward.

Just my two cents worth.

[Boxcar]

What is wrong with renting videos? If you are only going to show a clip or use the tape once, why buy it?

[wig]

You will all get used to it. My thoughts are

1. She is separating your social and professional relationship

2. A class I had strongly encouraged that anything like this be put in writing. A paper trail is always necessary in this day and age

3. Truthfully, it really makes no difference if she did the "no no" things as a teacher. She is now an administrator and it is her job to assure that illegal things do not occur on her staff.

Don't worry. Things will get better.

[TookieWilliam]

What is wrong with renting videos? If you are only going to show a clip or use the tape once, why buy it?

there are a lot of wierd copyright laws out there. I'm not sure of them all, myself, but I know that renting Napolean Dynamyte or Day after Tomorrow, and playing them in class, even if used in an educational sense, is a no-no.

Check with your media specialist, they have a list of the rules.

Of all the companies though, Disney seems to be the most willing to press the issue with movies

[smithmt]

The summary of the Copyright Act mandates
The rental or purchase of a Video does not bear the right "to perform the copyrighted work publicly." (Section 202-www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap2.html#202) Videos may be shown without a SEPARATE license in the home to "a normal circle of family and its social acquaintances" (Section 101-www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#101) because such showings are not considered "public."

Videos may be shown without a license for non-profit educational purposes and in certain narrowly defined "face-to-face teaching activities" because the law provides limited exceptions for such showings. (Section 110-www.copyright.gov/title17/92chap1.html#110)

Now if the movie is directly related to the course content (viewing Charlie Chaplin or Marcel Marceau for examples of pantomime, etc.) then you may screen it. As far as clips from Digital media; (laserdisk/DVD) until last year you couldn't rip video and compile it in a compilation DVD with scenes from other movies, but again it has to be directly related to your course content (Which is why Theatre can show everything; most state standards require comparison b/n performance and life which is satisfied every time a movie is shown) So if you have an educational application for The Day After Tomorrow go for it! (just document the why and get admin. permission first)

[jturtles]

The longer I teach (this will only be my 3rd year), the more I believe that it is not a good idea to become an administrator in the building you taught in. For example, in the building I am currently teaching in, I also work with my 5th grade teacher, and my 2nd grade teacher. If I were to become an administrator in that building, how could I go into their room and tell them what they need to work on? Obviously, the mutual respect has to be there, but I just do not see it working very well. Just my opinion anyway. I'm sure there are people who disagree.

[AtoZ]

I agree that she's probably adjusting to her new role...

Though I'd NEVER go into administration in reality, if someone forced me into the position, I would probably make sure that I have a paper trail of all correspondence (email saves that paper, so I'd have an electronic trail).

In correspondence, I'd never address colleagues by their first names. Why? It's a reflection of me as a professional, and again, if I ever have to show proof of that paper trail, I can show that I addressed colleagues respectfully.

I honestly doubt that she would have time to give everyone an in-person reminder...if she did that, I'd consider her an ineffecient administrator.

I understand how all involved may have difficulty adjusting to a colleague's new role...but I'd suggest giving it some time; any adjustment needs that.

[Silverfalcon]

My junior high English teacher became vice principal during the latter part of my junior year. During my senior year, lots and lots of people despised her.

She was rude and bossy and just like someone said, Ms. Enforcer!

But I think that as much as teachers had problems on adjusting to this, they realized that her new job required lots of formal paper works and along with them came stress. It could be that your co-worker feels stressed and thinks it's necessary to keep the formality.

Just like other people said, just send an email to meet and chitchat. It may or it may not. I know the principal of my school (at least when I was there) called my senior class adviser by first name while the senior class adviser always said "Mr.(something)." Well.... the senior class adviser said the first name when he was mad though. :D

[Maoman1]

My teachers have had a similar incident when one of the gym teachers became an assistant principle. What is happening to you now happened to us earlier. Just give it some time for them to get adjusted. Also, for the blockbuster thing, if you can, use youtube. My teachers always use it for short clips. Also, try channelone.com. That is a national school news site. They have videos for teaching us teens about everything.

[auntbea]

Something just occured to me as I was reading, before they were one of us, now he/she is one of them. Not meaning anything by that, there is just a line between the groups. When they were a teacher, you shared things, lots of things, both personally and professionally, things you would never, ever, tell the admin. Now, they are the admin., and they know your "secrets" as well. A little scary. Please understand, not that you/us have done anything wrong... Viewing my current admin., there are things that I would never tell them, but might tell a colleague.

I have always taught in small, small, schools. ie enrollment of less than 200.

Does all of that make sense? Just my opinion, that and a dollar will buy you a cup of coffee. LOL

[merrynl]

Think about all the people who told you not to smile until Christmas your first year of teaching. Ever consider that perhaps this new administrator is trying the same approach? Being tough now, but will loosen up later?