have you ever felt it difficult to like a student?

[mindy]

Hi teachers I am new to this site. I am going to school to become an elementary teacher! I am very excited and am having fun in my classes. One of my assignments is to write about a teacher who is having difficulties with one of her students I am sure some of you can relate:). I was wondering if some of you would help me. Do you find that some of you don't like some of your students? What do you think some of your ethical responsibilities are when you have a student you don't like?

Thanks for your help I hope I get to talk to you more!!;)

[Oak Tree]

People are people and students are people and children are people. No matter who you are you'll find some people more likable than others and some people quite distasteful. It doesn't matter. It's your professional and ethical responsibility to work to the best of your ability to give the best possible educational services to whomever is put in your classroom. It is also your responsibility administer all discipline and grades as consistently as possible.

[black cap]

hey there!

I'm new to this too, but I must say there's so much from my old corporate life that I find myself applying to children. "soft skills" should be manditory - I used to work with clients I didn't like, but that's when you just shift into your professional self and challenge yourself. It's like running - you are your own competition. With children, I find it thrilling to see what changes I can make in their lives, regardless of my personal feelings about the child or their parents.

also, sometimes, when I look at myself and try to see why I find someone distasteful - it may be because I'm being elitist and need to re-adjust my own attitude.:rolleyes:

Becky :D
Black Cap

[Chef Dave]

Do you find that some of you don't like some of your students?

Yes, I am having this problem now. I have a high school student whom I will refer to as "George," which is not his real name. George was a model student during first semester. He had a great attitude and was a natural leader. I enjoyed having having him in the culinary arts kitchen.

When his out of state girlfriend moved in with his family last January, George's entire personality changed.

He began disregarding the academic portion of our culinary arts assignments. Instead of reading the textbook or articles, he would breeze through the worksheet, writing answers that made no sense. What's even worse was that he talked his classmates into also blowing off these assignments.

The entire GPA of his class began to fail.

I retaught lessons and had students redo their work. Most of the students quickly learned the importance of doing the assignments right the first time around and mended their ways ... but not George.

He actually accused me of giving the class busy work.

I had to call him into my office and show him my competency check lists of stand mandated instructional threads that I am REQUIRED to teach.

I challenged George to look at the lists and to identify the number of threads that were directly related to cooking. There were only a few. Most instructional threads were related to nutrition, metabolism, food chemistry, etc.

George grudingly admitted that he was not receiving busy work and began putting some effort into his assignments ... but in the meanwhile other problems occurred.

Two weeks ago we had hands-on high school. Eighth graders visited our school to get hands-on experience with all of our CTE (career and technical education) classrooms. In culinary arts, I chose my best students to act as mentors. Eighth grade students got to customize and bake pizza bread. They cooked fries. They got sodas or punch from our drink dispensers.

My weaker culinary arts students were sent to the library with directions to redo assignments they had received failing grades on.

George never reported into the library. He hung out in the student commons area and later snuck into culinary arts to ask the assistant manager (who helps run our student restaurant) if he could help out with the eighth graders.

The manager quite properly reported George to me. I asked George what he was doing out of the library and told him that he wasn't allowed to leave class without permission. Since the library was his "class" for the period, he needed to go back to the library.

George went to a vending machine instead.

I caught him and took him to the library for insubordination.

When we subsequently talked about this experience, he made the outrageous claim that all of his other teachers let him go to the vending machine whenever he wants.

I checked with his other teachers. Since one was out sick all of last week, I didn't hear from her until this past Monday. It came as no particular surprise that George had lied to me. Nobody let him go to the vending machines ... so today instead of participating in a hands on cooking activity, George had to scrub out trash cans.

My personal feeling was that since George talked trash, he could scrub out trash ... which was about as close I could come to having him scrub out his mouth.

George refused to wash the scrub cans.

No problem. Having anticipated this, I had already talked to the building administrator and had already prepared a discipline referral.

George subsequently decided to clean the trash cans under the supervision of the assistant manager.

After cleaning the trash cans, he returned to the classroom to find his classmates eating fried eggs with crispy bacon, buttered toast, and potato pancakes. They were also drinking beverages from our restaurant's beverage dispensers.

George DEMANDED a beverage. He did not ask. He DEMANDED.

I refused permission.

"Why am I the only one being punished?" he asked.

I looked him in the eye and said, "That's because you're the only student who lied to me."

I offered him the option of complaining about his treatment to the building administrator or sitting quietly for the rest of the period. He wisely chose to sit and sulked for the rest of the period.

What do you think some of your ethical responsibilities are when you have a student you don't like?

I cannot use personal bias to pursue a vendetta against any student. Students pass or fail on both academic merit and hands-on cooking activities, the latter of which are graded by rubrics.

I do my best to treat all students the same. Students may earn special privileges based upon attitude, participation, and merit - but students may also wind up on KP, scrubbing pots and pans, rinsing out trash cans, and cleaning grease traps if they violate my classroom rules.

I am a great believer in the use of immediate consequences to influence attitudes and behavior. Students who do well receive verbal praise and recognition, good grades, snacks, and/or the opportunity to receive complimentary drinks or even ice cream from our student restaurant.

Conversely, students who are rude or disrespectful lose the opportunity to cook anything in my kitchen. They scrub pots and grease traps, empty garbage, and perform menial tasks. They have no drink privileges, receive a failing grade for the day, and are sometimes sent to the office on discipline referrals should the task of cleaning prove to be too onerous for them. I am fortunate to have excellent administrative support and have never had students excused from a period of intensive cleaning.

With regards to beginning culinary arts students like George, they basically have a choice. They can get with the program in which case they will have the opportunity to participate in hands-on cooking activities 2-3 times per week. Students who do well receive complimentary beverages from our student restaurant.

Students who are rude, disrespectful, or insubordinate, get to scrub pots, trash cans, grease traps, and/or any other disgusting job I can think of.

In recent days George has been doing a lot of cleaning. I regard this as George's choice since I tend to be firm, fair, and consistent with regards to expectations and consequences.

P.S. Whoops ... I responded to this thread before I realized it was early childhood.

[deeno]

I believe that teaching is like any other profession, we have clients and we must at all times act professionally. The teacher is the adult and the child is relatively powerless. To make certain that you are acting professionally at all times think about the following:
'If this child's parent was here in the classroom would I be proud of the way that I am supporting this child."
I find that when a child presents as unlikeable that he is unliked by the majority of adults in the system. This makes life unbearable for this child. You can nearly be assured that the child is experiencing problems in many areas of his/her life.
My advice is to build relationship, build relationship and build relationship.Once the child knows that you are caring and trying to like him/her, that child will proform. Lack of relationship will be holding him back. It is the most unlikeable that need us the most.
You didn't mention that the child's behaviour was a problem. If it is a problem, remember that all behaviour is telling us something about the child's inner world.
Wayne Dwyer tells the story of a little boy who came to school and succeeded until his mother died. Then he began to experience problems. The teachers reacted unprofessionally towards this child. Eventually, he was lucky to meet a special teacher who happened to read his portfolio and learn a little about his problems. She developed a relationship with him.Now,that little boy has a doctorate in theology and expresses his belief that it would never have happened if this amazing teacher hadn't built a relationship with him and showed that she cared. I suspect that this person is Wayne Dwyer himself.
Good luck,
Deeno

[Stacy B]

I agree with everyone else. Children are individuals who have distinct personalities, just like adults. I have had wonderful children in my class whose personalities didn't always "click" with my. As a professional, you just continue on, show great interest in them, and treat them like every other child with love and respect. The flip side of that is I have had children who are behavior problems, but I got along with them quite well - I really enjoyed their personalities. The main thing is to make every child feel loved and important no matter what.

[Boxcar]

I also agree. Children are people too. This means that we will like some students more than others.

This is the way I try to see it. I don't like the child's behaviors rather than not likeing the actual child. It can be difficult to seperate the child from the behaviors at times, but it does help.

When I focus on the child's actions, I can begin to search for strategies. Behaviors are not innate like temperment and personality. (Well, I know there is the nature vs. nuture debate. However, work with me here.) For example, I don't like that Child A screams and crys at naptime every day. This same child tries to escape from the classroom and doesn't share. If I see this child as unlikeable and unmanagable, I do him/her a disservice. However, by seeing the behavior as a problem, I begin to review my tranistions, schedules, and rules. Maybe the child needs a longer Large Motor time. Perhaps a more gradual tranisition to naptime would help.

Of course, it is often easier to do this with the little ones. High school students are almost adults and have often had years of prefecting the art of bad behavior. Still, it is worth a try.

I really like the way Chef_Dave made his student clean the trash cans because he talked trash. I'm all about logical and natural consequences. If I was the student, I would have to grudgingly admit that it was an interesting twist on punishment.

As for the ethical responsilbites, I'm very certain in my answer. I have the duty to first and foremost provide a safe enviroment. No one should be at risk for attacks by classmates or staff. I cannot let the children hit, call names, exclude others, ect. The room should be secure as well. Next, I have the duty to educate all the children. This might mean working on social skills the first two months of the year. If I have to, I will do that. Why? Because in preschool, the children must have these skills in place for the classroom to run somoothly. I can't teach if the children as frustrated, anxious, and angry. They will not be receptive, and I will have to reteach everything. Finally, I have the duty to treat others as I wish to be treated. I must be professional, respectful, and empathetic. I should try to put myself in each child's shoes. Maybe that foul language and aggressive behavior is coming from an older sister. Perhaps it is a defense mechanism.

THroughout all of this, I try to keep a balanced record of each child's strenghts and weaknesses. I have to find one positive thing the child did each day. Documenting is very important, and problem behaviors get recorded. However, good behaviors should be noted also. If Child A waited patiently in line to wash hands before Snack, i need to notice that. I need to ask myself why the child was able to be patient, how I can build on that skill, and what can be done to reward and extend the behavior.

Sometimes it just comes down to managing your expectations. In special education for young children, no-fail tasks are discussed. If you apply this concept to all the children in the classroom, you might find results. Starting with an easy task and working up to harder ones is often more successful than starting with a difficult activity.

[ChocolateNewOrleans]

I have students I just can't stand, and those I love to death.

The only time I let my personal feelings affect anything is when a student I like and a student I don't like end up earning a 59.4, or a 69.4, or a 79.4 or an 89.4 for a 9 weeks grade, or a year grade.

If I like them, that .4 becomes a .5 and therefore rounds up to the next highest letter grade. If I don't like them, they keep the .4 they earned

I had one girl who cheated on 2 tests, got 0's for them, then ended up for the end of the year average of a 59.4, an F. I refused to bump it up to a 59.5 (60 D) because of her poor attitude in class and the simple fact that I couldn't stand to look at her. This was the kind of person you wouldn't pee on if they were on fire. Same class, same year, another girl, struggled all year, but busted her butt the entire time, came in early, stayed late, got a 59.4, too. She DID pass my class.

[Deb]

I think that any human would have occasion to meet people they just don't like. I do think that a teacher, in particular, has the responsibility to go to the administration and truthfully explain that they just "don't like" the child. No child should be forced to sit in a class for a year with a teacher who doesn't like them (or whom they don't like). Believe it or not, kids are pretty perceptive, and that is a conflict that a child (especially a young child) doesn't need to or shouldn't have to deal with.

I also have to admit that I'm not one of those everybody has to love everybody types. If I don't like someone, I can choose to not associate with them. I feel that I have that right, my children have that right, you have that right, and so on.

[DarrenB]

Human nature prevents us from truly liking every person we meet. But, like many before me have said, it's our professional duty to treat all students equally. The hardest students to like, for me, are the racists and the bigots, especially the ones who aren't afraid to share their ignorant opinions. I'm in middle school, and the kids definitely know better. But, even with these kids, I do my best to create learning environments where all can succeed. This is where having a strong management plan really helps. I insulate my personal feelings from my reactions to those students by consistent implementation of my class management plan.

[Deb]

I hear what you are saying, but are you really able to insulate the students from your true feelings?

When one of the students you've mentioned makes an insensitive remark that causes a student you like to cry, become upset, threaten to quit school....how do you not show your true feelings?

I've stated before that certain professionals aren't allowed the luxury of showing personal feelings, but I can see that there would be times this would be impossible.

[DarrenB]

You're right, it is very difficult, but getting visibly angry at these insensitive students often only encourages their behavior. By not rising to their bait and calmly applying pre-established consequences, these anti-social behaviors tend to decrease in frequency rather than continue unabated.

But I'm only human and have occasionally failed myself. These moments are the ones that keep me stewing long after the moment has passed...

[Boxcar]

Sometimes the child cannot switch classes. This happens in two situations. First, there is no other class. Second, the other class is full. Do you really think it is fair to uproot another child?

I'm at the preschool level. I have very clear rules about how students treat one another. "We are kind to each other." and "We respect people and property." are two common ones for this age group. I teach and model these rules frequently. I tell the children "Use your good words. You can say 'I don't like that.'. You cannot hit or call names."

When a student mistreats another, I use the problem-solving system I have taught the children. I sit the two students down and work with them to resolve the issue. If a child isn't ready to talk, s/he has two options. If he/she can't play nicely with friends, that child needs to sit alone with a solitary activity until this is possible.* If he/she wants to be with the group, we need to work together to make that possible.

I also use natural and logical consequences with the children.

This is why many teachers have OPs. Personal feelings don't interfere if you are going "by the books". Also, I try to be reflective. If I've felt angry or upset with a student, I acknowledge this to myself. Then, I try to think of what I can do to prevent the behaviours I don't like.

If a teacher went to an administrator and said there was a "personality clash", she/he would be laughed at so much! I can just hear it: "You can't get along with a four-year-old? Seriously?"

Professionalism isn't innate. it has to be worked twoards.



* I'm talking about typically developing threes and fours. Twos and younger are not ready for this yet. Most of their discipline is proactive. The teacher tries to prevent problems before they happen. Twos and younger are not vocal enough to problem solve on a regular basis. Also, children with special needs require slightly different strategies.

[Deb]

How do you handle a situation in which your expectations and goals are opposite of what the child is taught at home?

For example, you want an unconditional, unquestioning following of a rule because you're the adult authority figure, and the parent has taught the child that he should use logic in doing what another person tells him to do. If the child has a reasonable reason for not following a rule in a particular instance, do you make an allowance? How does this affect the other children...do they perceive it as unfair?

Example: I believe that children resolve most of their differences without adult interference, there will be a natural order created among a group of children who are together for any length of time and that is the order that will best enable them to get along (assuming that all of the children have been taught to respect the differences in people and they've been taught to identify a serious situation). I will punish my child for "tattling". I expect him to get the situation under control or walk away. He's been taught this from the beginning, and his coping skills in group situations is relatively good. He understands that if leaving with a stranger, private body parts, or encouragement to do something he knows is wrong is involved, it's not tattling, its informing.

This causes him some grief in school because he attempts to resolve issues on his own. He has the tools to let another child know that he doesn't have to let the child treat him in a way that he considers mean, disrespectful or dangerous. He may get in the child's face, point a finger at him and instruct him to stop, go play with someone else, give it back etc., but I see it as his learning to be assertive.

[ChocolateNewOrleans]

That varies depending on grade level. But a 5 y.o. questioning why he isn't allowed to take away that toy, a middleschooler questioning why he has to learn this as he's going to be a professional basketball player and won't need it, or an 18 y.o. highschooler questioning why he can't smoke on campus is not using logic, it's disruptive behavior designed to sidetrack the lesson and get out of work.

[Deb]

They know that taking a toy away from another child is wrong, questioning why one should learn something, and what value it will be in the future is a good question that teachers should be prepared to answer, and can you tell me why the government allows you to smoke at 18, but on a government funded school campus you can't smoke at 18? ;)

Teachers and children both know the difference in serious questions and distractions. I just think that it is easy for a teacher to label it a distraction to avoid answering or explaining.

Remember, children learn a great deal about life by watching adults. They will one day become an adult, and should develop the skills along the way to interact with other adults.

No child should be afraid to express himself to an adult, and even if a child has learned some "wrong" expression at home, the teacher should gently point out the error, explain that it is disruptive, hurtful or whatever, and go on.

My child divides the world into "bigs" (adults who cannot be bossed around) and "littles" (children who are told what to do, and in most circumstances are expected to do it). He also believes that "bigs" are to answer questions, take care of his needs, keep him safe, be patient with him and care about him. If a "big" cannot do those things, they become a "bad big".

If you teach young children, you should really evaluate how you present yourself to them and what they think of you. They may not all grasp the concept of respect, but they either like or dislike, trust or fear, look forward to spending the day with you or look for a way to avoid spending the day with you and this has an effect on their eagerness to learn, eagerness to please and overall outlook about learning.

Being a teacher encompasses a lot of things, and you have to do them all well to be a good teacher. Mediocre teachers are a dime a dozen, and never inspire. Bad teachers do more harm than good. Good teachers are looked back on with gratitude when the young students become aware of what they understand about the world, what they can learn because they can read and comprehend, and what they can be because of the confidence and knowledge that (good) teachers have imparted.

You get to decide how your students will think of you a few years down the road.

[ChocolateNewOrleans]

They know that taking a toy away from another child is wrong, questioning why one should learn something, and what value it will be in the future is a good question that teachers should be prepared to answer, and can you tell me why the government allows you to smoke at 18, but on a government funded school campus you can't smoke at 18? ;)

Teachers and children both know the difference in serious questions and distractions. I just think that it is easy for a teacher to label it a distraction to avoid answering or explaining.

Remember, children learn a great deal about life by watching adults. They will one day become an adult, and should develop the skills along the way to interact with other adults.

No child should be afraid to express himself to an adult, and even if a child has learned some "wrong" expression at home, the teacher should gently point out the error, explain that it is disruptive, hurtful or whatever, and go on.

My child divides the world into "bigs" (adults who cannot be bossed around) and "littles" (children who are told what to do, and in most circumstances are expected to do it). He also believes that "bigs" are to answer questions, take care of his needs, keep him safe, be patient with him and care about him. If a "big" cannot do those things, they become a "bad big".

If you teach young children, you should really evaluate how you present yourself to them and what they think of you. They may not all grasp the concept of respect, but they either like or dislike, trust or fear, look forward to spending the day with you or look for a way to avoid spending the day with you and this has an effect on their eagerness to learn, eagerness to please and overall outlook about learning.

Being a teacher encompasses a lot of things, and you have to do them all well to be a good teacher. Mediocre teachers are a dime a dozen, and never inspire. Bad teachers do more harm than good. Good teachers are looked back on with gratitude when the young students become aware of what they understand about the world, what they can learn because they can read and comprehend, and what they can be because of the confidence and knowledge that (good) teachers have imparted.

You get to decide how your students will think of you a few years down the road.

I know the reasons and I'll tell a middleschooler why this is important.... ONE TIME. However that answer is never good enough and that's when it tells me that they aren't interested in what the reasons are, but rather, how to get out of it. And that's not an option. Whether they agree with the reason or not does not mean they have a choice in not following the rule or doing the assignment. I don't agree with speed limits, but I am still expected to follow them.


Convincing them NOT to be lazy when they want to take the path of least resistance is not "a kid trying to use logic to decide what's best for them"

But never mistake, a child has their place, their "role" in society and it is not equal to that of adults. Some people think kids are little adults and that teachers should feel compelled to seek permission on what and how to teach.

[Deb]

They aren't "little adults", but they are "adults in training".

How many times have your heard people complain that their children never grew up, that at 25 years old they've "failed to launch"? How much of this is due to our never allowing children to become the adults we expect them to be? When should they start learning to be adults......immediately. It's a long process, and you don't just push them aside at some numeric milestone and say ok, you're and adult now, go act like it.

It seems as though you may work with a group of children that would seem "foreign" to me. I'm not in a large city, and I don't see a lot of children who don't have proper parental guidance and who haven't been taught age appropriate social skills.

The most disruptive group of children would probably be the 10% plus who have been clinically diagnosed as ADHD.

[Boxcar]

I teach the children (preschool and pre-k) to problem solve. I give them all the skills to work things out for themselves. I support those who need it until they don't.

My rules include "We use our words." and "We are kind to others."

That does not allow a child to get in someone else's face. I will not tolerate another child telling a peer "Go play with her." or "You need to sit there." I do not allow my kids to boss each other around. That is not problem solving. it is thinking you're a big shot. No child is going to exercise that power over another peer. Being asserive is saying "I don't like that.", "Stop.", or "I don't want to play." However, intimidating another is not okay. Telling a child where to go and what to do is not using I-centered solutions. We cannot expect to control others. We have to learn to control ourselves. I applaude the child who uses his words to express feelings with "I" statements. I congratulate the chlid who has learned to walk away. These are great skills I support in my room.

Do you see the distinction I make?

I understand that a child's family may have different beliefs and values. I encourage communication about these.

I spend the first couple weeks of school talking about social skills. This includes a discussion of the classroom rules. The children get reasons for each rule. This is part of my social studies teaching.

I believe that children can and do learn multiple sets of rules. A child might have a set of rules for Dad's house, a set for Mom's, a set for Grandma's, and a set for school.

At school, we have to talk about our problems. We don't over-power one another. We still stand up for ourselves, but we need to let the other person feel good too.

I cannot allow a child to belittle another. This is regardless of what was taught in the home enviroment. I'm responsible for all the children's self-worth. As much as I respect each family's values, that just can't happen in my room.

[ChocolateNewOrleans]

They aren't "little adults", but they are "adults in training".

How many times have your heard people complain that their children never grew up, that at 25 years old they've "failed to launch"? How much of this is due to our never allowing children to become the adults we expect them to be? When should they start learning to be adults......immediately. It's a long process, and you don't just push them aside at some numeric milestone and say ok, you're and adult now, go act like it.

you're right, there are kids that never grow up, but that's because parents, teachers, etc have coddled kids and do everything for them (like put names on their papers)

It seems as though you may work with a group of children that would seem "foreign" to me. I'm not in a large city, and I don't see a lot of children who don't have proper parental guidance and who haven't been taught age appropriate social skills.

The most disruptive group of children would probably be the 10% plus who have been clinically diagnosed as ADHD.

ADD/ADHD :rolleyes: Don't even get me started on the kids that have been allowed to think that they should be allowed to disrupt class, not stay in a seat, and not do their work because their parents have badgered a doctor into giving a placebo diagnosis to use as a life crutch

[Deb]

Boxcar and CNO:

You both make good points. I like the way you turn the responsibility to the child with the "I" words, Boxcar. That's something I'm going to try with my six year old. He's articulate, he's assertive, but at times he could be perceived as being a little bossy.

CNO, I'm glad that you don't subscribe so much to the ADD diagnosis. One of the disagreements I had with my child's previous teacher was her indirect, but not so subtle suggestions that he be medicated. He is very active, and I use discipline to keep him focused and on task. It works for me. It's only been in the last week that he's been moved into the class of a teacher who is reinforcing what I'm doing at home. If he doesn't follow the class rules, the teacher lets me know what he did, and she is aware that the discipline we're using is the loss of a privilege (he can't play any video games on days he doesn't get a "green light" which is their good conduct measure).

There is one problem with my method. In addition to racing and motorcycle games on the playstation, I have a lot educational software for the computer. He enjoys doing the phonics and math games, and I want him to spend time working on those skills. To date, I haven't taken that privilege away if he has poor conduct at school. I think he needs the reinforcement they provide in the areas of phonics, sequencing, patterns etc., but he enjoys them. Does allowing him to play the educational games reduce the effectiveness of taking away the playstation?

[Boxcar]

I don't think it does. The logic I see is this: "You didn't work/focus in school, so we need to do some extra things at home. You can use the math and phonics software, but you can't play the playstation. You are learning from these games, but those are solely for play. When you are done catching up on what you didn't do at school, we will talk about the other games."

Many young children are very active. I try to plan many activities that allow for lots of large motor movements. If there is a particular day with the children having lots of energy, I will throw out my planned activities and take them outside or to the gym. They get fifteen minutes or so to burn of some of that actiivty. Then, I bring them back by doing a series of games to calm them down. I can't teach children who are indicating that they aren't ready to learn. It is better to leave some of my plans out of the day. If I can help them focus on the rest, I'm happy to do it.

There are children who do have ADHD. A person has to be careful with this label, however. A child who is active does not have ADHD. I do have concerns about the child who cannot eat becasue he is up and down the entire time. This is the child who cannot stay in bed to sleep and ends up crashing on the living room floor at 1 a.m. The child who cannot enjoy a piece of cake or a bowl of ice cream because he is running out into the yard, racing around the living room, and talking a mile a minute. The child who starts to tell a story he is interested in sharing, but then he must get up to look out the window, play with a piece of lint, or pick at the bottom of his shoe. This child cannot watch his favorite show because the converstation about boring taxes is distracting, and the shadows on the wall catch his eye.

In other words, the child is not happy. He has challenging behaviors like physical aggression, tantrums, and over-reations. He is tired and out of control. His actions are letting you know he needs help. All the active play in the world doesn't help, and it sometimes makes things worse.

These types of situations raise red flags for me. This is when the child should be tested by a skilled professional. I don't mean going to the doctor and saying "My child is ADHD. Can you give me something?" I'm talking about honestly discussing the situation and looking at many possible causes and solutions to help the child.

[ChocolateNewOrleans]

Many young children are very active. I try to plan many activities that allow for lots of large motor movements. If there is a particular day with the children having lots of energy, I will throw out my planned activities and take them outside or to the gym. They get fifteen minutes or so to burn of some of that actiivty. Then, I bring them back by doing a series of games to calm them down. I can't teach children who are indicating that they aren't ready to learn. It is better to leave some of my plans out of the day. If I can help them focus on the rest, I'm happy to do it.

So basically, all your class has to do is act up in class and their 'punishment' is an extra recess??? :eek: No wonder so many kids in middleschool think that they should be rewarded for bad behavior


There are children who do have ADHD. A person has to be careful with this label, however. A child who is active does not have ADHD. I do have concerns about the child who cannot eat becasue he is up and down the entire time. This is the child who cannot stay in bed to sleep and ends up crashing on the living room floor at 1 a.m. The child who cannot enjoy a piece of cake or a bowl of ice cream because he is running out into the yard, racing around the living room, and talking a mile a minute. The child who starts to tell a story he is interested in sharing, but then he must get up to look out the window, play with a piece of lint, or pick at the bottom of his shoe. This child cannot watch his favorite show because the converstation about boring taxes is distracting, and the shadows on the wall catch his eye.

In other words, the child is not happy. He has challenging behaviors like physical aggression, tantrums, and over-reations. He is tired and out of control. His actions are letting you know he needs help. All the active play in the world doesn't help, and it sometimes makes things worse.

These types of situations raise red flags for me. This is when the child should be tested by a skilled professional. I don't mean going to the doctor and saying "My child is ADHD. Can you give me something?" I'm talking about honestly discussing the situation and looking at many possible causes and solutions to help the child.

ADHD/ADD is a label for parents too lazy to discipline their children.

As a parent, tranquilizing my kid is out of the question, but as a teacher, if you, as a parent, are too lazy to discipline your own kid effectively in the 11 years before I get them, at least do me a favor and dope them up so I can actually teach the other 29 in my class

[Boxcar]

I don't teach middle school. My kids are three, four, and five year olds. I can tell when it is misbehavior and when it is a problem day. This takes getting to know them, but I can usually sort it out.

There are other ways to handle ADHD/ADD than medicane.

[ChocolateNewOrleans]

But meanwhile, they are learning that if you simply don't want to sit down and work, you get a recess. By the time they get to me, it's engrained into their psychi's.

I know the way to handle ADD/ADHD and it includes a parental foot lodged firmly up the problematic child's backside.

but with that said, I don't have use of that same discipline tool, so I would thank lazy parents who don't discipline to at least help me out by doping their kid up. At least then I can teach the other 29

[NBlake]

The best advice I can give is to treat them the way you'd like them to become. This has worked for me time and time again with difficult students. The worst thing you can do as a teacher is to let them feel your dislike, and students are very smart about picking up on those kind of feelings. It will only make your problem worse. Instead, work on finding something good about them, and then acknowledge that. It has to be something real. That will build to other positive actions, and you can turn the behavior around. When a child knows you respect him and care about him, it is amazing how they change and come to care about your opinion of them in return.