I have fantastic parents!

[Hermione]

I'm not sure if this counts as a warm fuzzy, but it certainly made my day.

I have a class of eighteen (ten boys, eight girls). They are a high ability group and have four teachers throughout the day. For the past few weeks, my boys have become so talkative during all of their classes. I know if talking is the biggest problem I have, I'm lucky. But it's become such a disruption that it's really affecting class time. Detention hasn't been working. We've tried rewards, group points, etc. Nothing has been working.

So when I came home Friday, I got out my roster and I called my boys' parents. I reached eight of the ten. I told them that I and the other teachers needed some help in reminding them how they are expected to behave at school. EVERY parent thanked me for calling and assured me that I would have different young men on Monday morning. True to their word, I was met at my door with apologies, and I couldn't have asked for a better group of young men today. I had 3 parents call me today, just to check in and see how their son was doing today.

I really try to handle my own problems, but I decided it was time to involve my parents, and they were nothing but helpful and encouraging. These boys are 12 years old, so I'm sure they'll need reminding again, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I just feel very lucky to have such positive parental support, and I wanted to share.

[Chef Dave]

Wow! Now that's the way it SHOULD BE!

I'd much rather have a response like that than to have parents say, "So why are you telling me about this problem? You're the teacher. Do your job!"

Kudos on being proactive for contacting these parents AND getting a very supportive response!

[sgaestel]

I LOVE IT!
I have had that situation with a few...a VERY few...parents. This semester, however, I have been blessed with the most amazing group of students, I haven't had to make one behavior phone call.
When I had to call about absences, the parents I spoke with (6 out of 7) were extremely supportive, and even THANKED ME for the job I was doing!
Needless to say, I feel you on the great parents, it's SUCH a welcome change!

[busbus]

I am happy for you. It is so great when parents support our efforts.

It was very wise of you to "nip the problem in the bud" right away. Sometimes we can wait too long.

Please let the parents know just how well their sons behaved. Keep the parents on your side.

Thanks for sharing such a wonderful story. :)

[Bananas]

I make some phone calls about good behavior, not just when help from home is needed. That is greatly appreciated!

[wtrafton]

Parental support can make such a difference!! I agree that follow up phone calls to thank the parents and let them know about the positive result would keep the communication going. Awesome that it worked out so well. Congrats!

[MsCoffeeLover]

This is where communication with parents in a variety of ways is essential. Follow up is a wonderful thing, and very few people do it. Parents, students, and teachers need it--a little positive reinforcement or some affirmation. We forget to give it sometimes too.

I try to be as helpful as possible because if you are nice and helpful initially, even parents with kids with challenging behaviors appreciate the fact that you took the time.

Follow up is a priority with me. If the parent, student, and myself agreed to something or just parent and student came to an agreement and I know about it, I will always send an update after a few days and then a few more days after that. It gets tiring after awhile but not as tiring as things that could happen from a negative approach.

Also, follow up has helped some of the kids too. There are many times I have sent a note home and communicated with the parent. That positive update has gotten a few kids out of further restriction, and I never knew they were grounded in the first place. Next thing you know, the kid actually thanked me.

It's all in the approach and the wording.

[jsfowler]

I have been fortunate to have parents who care about their child's behavior and education. When you have the support of parents, your year goes by a lot better. I have had more parent volunteers in my classroom this year than all previous years combined...it is rare to get parents to come in when their kids are in middle school.

[Hermione]

I just wanted to add that I do make positive phone calls, as well. This was just a situation where I made several negative ones all at the same time. I keep contact with my parents all year, so getting a phone call from me isn't out of the ordinary.

I have contacted the parents to let them know that things are better, and I hope that they continue. We're all cautiously optimistic! :)

[Bananas]

I wasn't meaning to imply that you only make negative phone calls, Hermione. I was thinking about some of my students who are of that mindset. They love to be by my side when I contact that parent about better behavior or something nice they did.

[Miss.Amanda]

Wow...thats wonderfull...i can only hope for those kind of parents when i have my own class....you must be soo proud of your boys..i sure would be

[Hermione]

Bananas, I know you weren't implying that. I just wanted to clarify because it's important to call for positive reasons, as well. :)

Yes, I'm very proud of my boys, and my fingers are crossed!

[sgaestel]

I make some phone calls about good behavior, not just when help from home is needed. That is greatly appreciated!

Yes, I do the same! When I make my lists of calls to make, I always try to make sure I call just as many parents with good calls as I do with bad.

[Tiamat]

We have a difficult school, with a lot of behaviour issues, and have a policy that we have to make two or three positive phone calls per week, to build up a positive "bank account" with parents. That way, when the negative calls happen, you already have a relationship with the parent, and they (hopefully) know that you don't hate their kid, just what the kid is doing today.

It does seem to work.

[busbus]

I encourage my new teachers to begin with the positives - in letters and with phone calls.

Too often, the only time that parents hear from the school, it's about something negative. Parents would like to hear some good news about their child. So, early in the year, we can contact parents with good news and we could do this periodically throughout the year. We need to form some kind of alliance so that we might be supported when we have to contact parents with negatives.

My first principal encouraged the teaching staff to begin letters and phone calls home with something positive about the student. This has stuck with me throughout my career - sometimes I had to stretch to find something positive to say, but I have been able to do this and, I think, as a result, formed good relationships with parents.

[hot_teacher]

Good for you! That's awesome