help...teacher will not talk to teacher.

[ambear20]

I sure hope some of you have some ideas or have exprienced this before. I am a first year 4 year old pre-K teacher and I have a little girl in my class that refuses to speak to me. Her mother says that she has never talked to her teacher at school or in extra curricular activities like gymnastics or dance. She has been in our program since she was 10 months old, so most of the adults are not strangers. I observed the class for a few days in October before I began teaching the class. During my observation and interaction those first few days she did talk to me. Once she realized that I was her teacher and would be staying around, she has not said another word to me. She will talk to my assistant only when it is absolutely necessary. Up until recently she has participated in class by completing her assignments and when we have circle time, she will participate unless I'm looking directly at her. She usually mouths the songs or whatever the class response is. She will jabber with her friends during free play or time on the playground, until she sees that I'm paying attention. I've talked openly with her mother throughout the year. She has asked that we not make a big deal out of it in fear that she will not like coming to school. What bothers me most is that when I directly ask the child something she looks at me with a grin or a smirk and then looks away. She will twittle her thumbs or pick at her fingers and refuses to speak to me. It's almost like she is saying...ha, I don't have to talk to you...and you can't make me. I have done just as the other teachers in the past and tried not to make a big deal out of it, but it is starting to effect our entire class. The other kids speak for her, which I have recently quit allowing them to do, because I feel we are enabling her. She recently quit doing her tablework (cutting, coloring, glueing, etc.) and would just sit there. After her mother spoke to her about the classwork, I've seen an improvement in that. Her mother says that in gymnastics, they receive stars for answering questions that leads up to rewards. She doesn't seem to be bothered that she doesn't receive the stars or rewards. Her birthday is late August and her mother plans to have her repeat 4 year old in another program. Another thing I should mention is that a number of times this year she has had potty accidents only because she would not come to me and say that she had to go. We give a potty break, but any other time it is their responsibility to ask us.

Help, help, help. I'm very unsure how to handle this and it is very discouraging to me. I thought for sure that I would have gotten to the root of this by now. Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[kingrichie]

I wouldn't stress too much. As long as she does communicate with her peers regularly and with teachers occasionally, I wouldn't worry. Let her have time to come and talk to you on her terms.

She sees that it's getting to you, so she feels powerful. She'll keep doing it as long as she knows it gives her power.

[s.kindel]

She sounds like a very stubborn little girl. She knows what she's doing, she is able to talk when she wants so it does not sound like any sort of developmental problem. You are doing the right thing by not letting others speak for her. She will either talk to you or not. You can't make her so just concentrate on teaching and see what happens.

Stacey

[irish223]

I actually have a girl in my kdg class with similar behavior. She is repeating kdg, so she's already six. She too is able to do all the work, and she also talks to her peers.

In the beginning of the year, she never talked to adults. I was aware of her history, so I never made a big deal about it. Also, I allowed her to 'mime' her needs to me.

Slowly, she has begun to open up with me and other adults. She still doesn't speak freely, but I believe she will get there.

She receives speech therapy, and I've had many talks with the therapist. She was originally 'diagnosed' as a selective mute. We're not sure that's an accurate diagnosis. However, the speech therapist told me that she found some research that suggests it's okay (and sometimes beneficial) to allow selective mutes to have a buddy who speaks for them. I haven't felt the need to assign a buddy to my student though.

Interestingly, she will actually engage me in conversation when we have recess and I play with the kids! Sounds like your experience before your student realized you would be her teacher.

I suggest that you continue to have patience with her. It may be a control issue, or it may be that she is very insecure. One of my own children had a similar issue when he was young. He rarely spoke to his teachers unless it was necessary. He was very shy and self-conscious, but he grew out of it.