Problem... big problem

[superteach]

I am currently a special ed para educator or aide. This is my first year doing this type of work and I can say that it's been good but with its problems.
There is this girl in my class, which is a class where each child has their own home room and they come in at different times, that is very needy, but also mean to everyone.
The teacher in my classroom is very supportive and tries to help her work through the problems she faces.
My problem is that as soon as the teacher leaves the room, the child turns her anger back on and tries to manipulate me while hitting students and saying mean things.
I have talked to my teacher and she sorta sticks up for her and says she'll make her write social stories, etc, but never follows through, making the child's actions even more reinforced.

I secretly have classified her as a bully, but no one else sees it.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

[Chef Dave]

As an aide, I think you have a responsibility to document and report this behavior to the classroom teacher. You have already done so. Beyond that your options are very limited.

You could bring this problem to the attention of the building administrator, but if you were to do so, you'd be going over the head of your classroom teacher who probably wouldn't appreciate it. This could lead to a very uncomfortable working relationship. The same would also be true if you brought this to the attention of the school counselor.

The only thing I can think of at this time is to continue speaking to the teacher. Let her know of each instance that has occured. Start documenting this. Write down dates and times. Include the names of student eye witnesses.

Be persistent. Having spoken to the teacher once, don't get frustrated and give up. Be polite but firm. Talk to the teacher in private. Share your documentation. Avoid generalities i.e. "------ is being mean to her classmates."

Be specific. "--------- poked Shanae with a pencil and knocked her books on the floor. When I asked --------- to pick up the books, she sneered at me and said, 'You aren't the boss of me.'"

Avoid accusations i.e. "I've TOLD you about this three times before and you never do anything!" (Accusations tend to make people react in a defensive manner).

Be prepared to offer constructive suggestions as to what to do to help rectify this problem.

Remain calm. No good will come from getting upset over this problem.

Best wishes!

David

[Boxcar]

Those are good suggestions.

I agree that it is very important to document.

I'd also ask the teacher to tell you specificly what the classroom rules and consequences are. Get her permission to enforce them. If there is no SOP for all the children, ask what you can do with this child when the teacher isn't there. Does the student have a behavior plan of some sort?

I do have a question. How long does this teacher leave the room for? Are you doing the bulk of the instructing and monitoring? If so, I would say that you definetly do need to have some sort of athourity in the discipline area.

[Bananas]

I would talk with the teacher more about this. If she leaves the room, what would happen if you were to be with this student? Granted, that would mean you would stop working with the other students for a bit, but if the student is being disruptive, then not much learning is going on anyways. What can you do to build rapport with this one student? Try to see the positives and comment on it. When there are problems, talk to the student.

What can you do to be in better control? What might have been a better way of handling this? How can I help you with this problem? I see you have been trying to be in better control, good for you!

Another option might be for the teacher to take the student with if she is running errands or talking with someone else.

[superteach]

These are truly great suggestions! I will use them and document all of it.

[Boxcar]

Good luck.