Question for teachers who have young children at home

[Sheri MD]

Hi all,

I need some insight. I'll try to make a long story short.

I recently completed my Masters degree in teaching (elementary education). At first I was really excited about becoming a teacher until I did my semester-long student internship. It was then that I got a taste of how stressful and demanding the teaching profession can be. Unlike 9 to 5 jobs where once you leave work, you can go home and CHILL... teaching is not like that! I found myself going home and STILL having to work. Spending hours planning my lessons for the next day/week, getting materials together, grading papers, etc. It scared the crap out of me. I was like, WHAT have I gotten myself into??? And this was on top of taking care of 2 children and a hubby to tend to.

But, no sweat I said to myself. I can handle this. That was until I found out I was pregnant (with #3).

I graduated in May '07 and instead of applying for full time teaching positions (knowing I had a baby on the way), I decided to substitute teach. I had the baby in December '07.

Now I'm scared to death to apply for full time teaching jobs this coming Fall. How can a person possibly deal with the stress and demands of teaching AND have to come home and deal with the stress and demands of family life??? I have three children (8, 4 and now 1 month old). My hubby is very supportive and helps out in every way, but still...!!!

Sooo... I'd really like to hear from the teachers out there, ESPECIALLY the first year teachers, who are teaching full time AND have young child(ren) at home. How do you do it? Would you recommend that I continue subbing for another year (at least until the baby is a little older and sleeping through the night, etc) and apply for teaching jobs in '09? Or would you say, just go for it! After the first year, it will get easier anyway.

I'd love to hear from you. The good and the bad. Thanks in advance.

~Sheri

[chele]

Sheri,
I'm a mother of 3 (now ages 13, 11 and 4). I quit my teaching job when I gave birth to my youngest to stay home with him and care for my little ones. It was the best decision of my life and I will NEVER regret it. I had to do without certain material things but I didn't care. My kids come first. Thankfully, I have a wonderful, supportive husband who worked 2 jobs for me to stay home. Sounds to me that you have a great, supportive husband too. I went back to substitute when my little one was almost 3. I worked full time last year and it was still stressful but not as difficult as having an infant. You are thinking right in substituting for a while. Know that you are not alone in this situation. A lot of teachers have to leave their little ones because they have to work for a living but if you can afford to stay home, do it. Let me know how it all turns out and good luck to you and your family. Enjoy every minute of your kids.

[s.kindel]

I have a question, too. I have 2 children (5&8) and I am going back to college to get my teaching degree. I have to pretty much start over again so it will be quite a few years till I graduate. I work part time as an assistant teacher, also. I am worried that I won't be able to handle school. How did you find time to study? Do I wait till the kids are in bed? I know other mom's have done this so I guess I need reassurance that it can be done. :confused:

Thanks,
Stacey

[chele]

Stacey,
It can be done but you have to be dedicated to juggle everything. I got my bachelor's degree in fashion then decided to teach to be with my kids. I took an alternative certification program through our local university (about 6 classes) so it wasn't so bad. I did work as a teacher and attended classes after work. I used to study at night. My husband is very supportive so he helped a lot with the kids. Good luck to you.

[Shari Nielsen]

I have a 7, 6, 9 month old, and I'm currently 5 months pregnant with my fourth (and last!) child. I also teach high school science full time and tutor online quite a bit.

I found that there are three main keys that allow me to maintain my sanity...

1st: My husband is great (also a teacher) and helps out a great deal w/ everything at home.

2nd: I do a lot of the work during my prep, lunch, on the weekends, and after the kids go to bed at night. Now its mostly correcting since I've been teaching so long...which brings me to the last point:

3rd: I've been teaching for 13 years already and things are MUCH, MUCH easier. I will admit that I was overwhelmed in the beginning and couldn't believe how much work it was. However, I have created a ton of lessons that I tweak each year, but I don't have to reinvent the wheel any more. I probably add one or two entirely new activities/labs/powerpoint presentations/alternative assessments, etc. a chapter, but the basics are already in place. The same will happen with you eventually. The first year or two might make you feel like a little gerbil on the spinning wheel, going round and round and never getting ahead, but eventually you will find that things become easier as you become more efficient and experienced.

Learn to share ideas and lessons with co-workers. I also mentor new teachers and give them as much stuff as I can. Some feel bad about taking and taking and not giving me anything. I always respond by telling them that they don't need to "pay ME back" but that I hope they eventually find themselves in my shoes and help another new teacher a few years down the road!

Learn to navigate the web for ideas. You don't have to reinvent the wheel each and every day. Look for stuff that people have been nice enough to post on the web. Tweak and modify stuff to suit your needs. Skip it next year if it doesn't work out as you would like or improve it if you think it has potential. Slowly but surely you will build a bank of stuff that you can rely on from year to year.

Spend a few minutes each day in boards like this looking for advice from veteran teachers. Classroom management tips, ways to stay organized, communication w/ parents ideas, etc. will all help you reduce stress, enjoy teaching more, and ultimately spend more time with your family.

Hang in there...It can be done, just expect to feel stressed out in the beginning, accept help as much as possible, and know that it won't always be this hectic.

Good luck.

[Bananas]

Welcome, Shari!

Thank you for sharing.

You remind me of my MIL, who wanted a girl. She had seven children with my hubby being the sixth son. Three sets of bunk beds in the master bedroom. Flu in the family? :eek: Kudos to you for what you are pulling off!

I totally understand what you are saying about your first point; being your husband who is a full parent and partner, not backup or incidental. I remember when he asked me to consider working part-time as he did not want to share the economic worries solely on his shoulders and he also wanted to be a more active parent. (He did not want to always work two jobs like his parents). I was not initially pleased in giving up some of my mommy time, and control in how I did things at home, but I will respect hubby until my dying hour for this. Seeing what his contributions have been to both of our children always warms me up inside.

You offer some valuable advice to the newbies from your experience. I look forward to your future offerings as your time allows.

[MrsAtkinson]

Good Luck to those in limbo about going back or not and KUDOS beyond belief to those who do it with kiddies at home!!!! Thanks for the uplifting advice!

I am also throwing the idea of babies in my head right now and how in the world am I going to do the following in 12 short months during 2010.
- Tend to my husband
- Tend to new baby
- Tend to the Marines (Still going to be active duty)
- Go to class
- Student teach
- Study

As someone who has done 2 different careers after thinking they didn't want to teach....I know that this time I'm gonna do it no matter what it takes! The military really pushes limits and releases you from your comfort zone constantly so my mentality is that I can do anything I set my mind too. I hope you all know you can do it too! No military experience needed I promise! Just some real self motivation! Good Luck again! I wish you the best of luck veteran teachers and new ones alike!

[DarrenB]

Wow. What great advice is being given! I hope you noticed that you're so not alone here. Many of us have gone through something similar.

My recommendation is to prioritize your out-of-school work. Do you really need to grade each worksheet or assignment? Do you really need to plan to the nth level of detail? Prioritize. Talk with your administrators and tell them your concerns. Let them know you're not slacking, just struggling.

Connect with other teachers who can help. Lots will give you advice and materials that will help ease your load.

And try to take a deep breath every time you get a bit freaked out. It happens to all of us! You can do it!

Darren Barkett
Helping Teachers Grow

[naturelover]

I understand your hesitation with becoming a classroom teacher next year. I am in a similar situation, except I don't have any children. I cannot even imagine doing this with kids. I am a first year teacher and I am so overwhelmed, exhausted all the time, and stressed beyond belief. I will be moving to Oregon, and I am not sure I am going to continue teaching. My plan is to substitute the first year and see if I miss being in the classroom. Right now my health is declining, I am having a migraine a week, and I am completely burnt out. I didn't go into teaching for this. I have read so many things about prioritizing, working through your lunch hour, etc., but I have done all of those things and I still feel this way. I am questioning whether teaching is for me. I want to see what the school district and schools are like where I move before I make the decision to be in the classroom. I also don't feel it is fair to the children to have a teacher who questions whether she wants to be there.

So, my advice would be to continue substituting if you are worried about losing your time (and sanity) to your job. So many first year teachers feel like I do. If you are already hesitating, and you realize the demands of the job, you may regret your decision to go into the classroom full time. Good luck with whatever decision to make.