"I Messages" when teaching

[smarks82]

Hi All-

Can you give me some feedback on what exactly "I Messages " are when teaching? Keep in mind, I am in kindergarten! Thanks!

[Boxcar]

I think that maybe they are a communication thing. Not sure, but I'll have a go at it.

I know that in a communication sense, I messages are used to not put someone on the defensive. Instead of saying "You need to sit down.", you say "I want you to sit down." Another example is saying "I feel you are being too loud." instead of "You are being too loud."

It is supposed to work like the rules you make for children. Instead of saying what not to do, you say what to do. Like instead of saying "We don't throw the sand.", you say "We keep the sand in the table."

[Boxcar]

I found this on a website. It was for older students, but it can also work very well for Kindergarteners.

The first mini-lesson I approach with students is to teach "I messages." Write "I feel _____________ when you ___________," on the board and using volunteers, do some role- playing of situations where one student has offended another. Initially, when a student asks to give an "I message", supervise until they are quite capable of handling this themselves. Often, a student asks to give an "I message," and when they return it is usually resolved. This empowers those students who would normally be the "victims" to use positive assertiveness and handle conflicts. It teaches empathy, because the person on the receiving end of an "I message" often places themselves in the position of understanding how the other person feels.

[Boxcar]

Here is the website. I forgot to include it, and I don't want to be taking credit for anyone else's stuff.

http://www.newhorizons.org/spneeds/inclusion/teaching/aitken.htm

[teach1027]

It works, especially if you use it to communicate feelings. Like I do not like it when you speak out of turn. Or It hurt's my feelings when you push the other students.