Funny stories

[slackr7]

Does anyone have any short funny things your students have said to you?:) :

[TeacherRW]

Oooo..... I have a couple of doozies at school. I have a notebook for those kind of things for the future. You know... when I get rich from writing a book about cutsey sayings that former students have said. :)

[prinderella]

I was teaching a kindergarten class in Florida around 9 years ago and took out a record to play. One little boy looked up at me and said " I hope you have a big enough CD player for that" It took me about one minute until it sunk in that he had never seen a record before. Maybe i should have taken out a typrwriter as well!

[javamomma]

Picture day this year one of my 3rd grade boys looked up at me and said
"I bet you have wrinkles under your makeup"....

Gee wiz, I am not THAT old. :)

[jack19]

Nothing much but some boys say i m too boring..!!

[scrivener]

Our school prom was this evening. The theme was "A Red-Carpet Affair," so the prom committee thought it would be cool to have a few teachers stand along the red-carpeted entrance and behave like paparazzi. The table favors were picture frames, and I was in charge of printing the red-carpet photos and delivering them to students for use in their frames.

I don't mess around. I brought my HP inkjet printer, two cameras, a mess of rechargable batteries, lots of ink, and lots of paper. Plus an assortment of other things I might need, such as scissors, Sharpies, an extra external FireWire hard-drive, and a tangle of cables.

One of my students, an eleventh-grade girl, ran up to me midway through the event, while I was printing photos, and said, "Mr. D! Do you have extra rechargable batteries? My camera's out of juice!"

This student was on my yearbook staff last year, and she's in my photography class this year, so she has heard me preach a million times about the need to have extra batteries! I said, "Have you learned NOTHING from me in a year and a half?"

She smiled and said, "Yes. I've learned that Mr. D always carries extra rechargable batteries."

[SLP]

Scrivener,
I love that story!
Now it's time for a lesson on self-reliance!

[landreth2007]

My first year of teaching was in Kindergarten. I was single and my students' parents were always trying to fix me up with someone. One of my little boys had heard his mom talk about setting me up on a blind date and was telling the other students about it. He told the other kids that he had been on a blind date before and one sweet little angel said, "You mean she couldn't see?" After I explained what a blind date was, the instigator of the conversation was quick to explain to the other students that this date had happened a long time ago when he was "just a little kid." I sure do miss that class. They kept me in stitches all year.

[SLP]

The 4 year olds in my class refer to "when they were little kids" all the time. It seems that when they were finally potty trained, they became "big kids". Thus, the "little kid" time is before being potty trained!

[landreth2007]

That same class had another interesting view of age. I said something to them about being old. They assured me that I was not old. Knowing that I was asking for trouble, I asked them how old I would have to be before they would consider me "old". Their reply? 100! Now you see why I miss them.

[Krafty]

Hahaha! I like that class :)

[SLP]

It will be St. Patty's Day soon, and my 3 yr old preschool class keeps referring to the leprechaun's pot of gold as his "potty of gold"! We know where their minds are! Talk about "potty mouth"!

[bcasbcjs]

We have a new principal at my school. For the students who have discipline problems they are taken outside to do spt(supervised physical training) running, jumping jacks, push ups,etc. One day, I overheard a student ask another student if they think the principal enjoys his job. The other student replies "Shoot yeah! He has the easiest job, he gets to be outside all day!

[Carolyn B]

My worlds collided the other day (personal v school world). I am a substitute for the district I reside. I was out aerobo-dogging (exercising with my dog) when a sheriff's car pulled up to me. In order to fully appreciate this story, I'll need to explain what "aerobo-dogging" is: aerobics, dog walking and jogging all in one.

Anyway, I was jumping and wriggling and shimmying like nobody's business, just groovin' to some tunes I had on my headphones. I looked over to see the sheriff trailing me in his car. When he saw me looking at him, I stopped and he asked, "Are you okay m'am?" I said, "I'm just exercising with my dog. Is there a problem?" and he replied, "No, just checking.." Then he drove off and I continued onward.

Here's where my worlds collide....that night my son walks in the door and runs up to me and says, "Mitch and Ryan told me you got busted by the sheriff and they gave you a dr*g test!" I just BURST out laughing! The middle school where I sub is just down the street from where I was walking. The kids were being let out of school at that time, and some of them saw me talking to the sheriff. Of COURSE the rumor mill started shortly after that.

The next day, I was back in a classroom (with one of the boys who saw me) and I just HAD to tell the students the story. It was so funny!

If you knew me, you'd know I absolutely, totally, am NOT the kind of person who would ever get in trouble with the law. I'm so clean I squeak. But, to think that I could have been the talk of the school would have been very bad for my chances of being hired.

[dolmansaxlil]

We have something called "DPA" (Daily Physical Activity) at our school. 20 minutes, three times a week (on the days they don't have Phys Ed) of something active.

I teach grade 7/8. Last fall, the kids asked me if the vice principal was coming to do DPA with them that day. One of the kids - a sweet, innocent, naive little girl - said, "Yeah...we're playing that game...Choke the Chicken."

I just about lost it. I literally had to turn my back to the room because I just had to laugh. I could hear two of our very "mature" grade 8 boys snickering. I managed to say, between laughs, "CHASE the Chicken. The game is called CHASE the chicken."

[Carolyn B]

D'OH!!!!!! I can see how that would cause a person to chuckle...

[javamomma]

I think it is funny any time your students see you outside the classroom! They can't believe you grocery shop, go to Walmart, or out to eat. :)

[SuzyQII]

One of my favorite stories involves an 8th grade special ed. student who was also an advanced content student. He was failing a number of classes due to incomplete work. I told him that all the teachers were tired of him doing diddlysquat. He replied "I beg to differ! I do diddly; I just don't do squat!" How clever!

[Tricia1]

I am an 8th grade math teacher. Last year my school had a fundraiser for the American Red Cross. Students were allowed to duct tape some of their teachers to the gym wall. Each student bought a piece of tape for $1.00 and stuck it across me until I was stuck to the wall. The principal then thought it would be funny to put a piece of tape across my mouth, bringing in cheers from all the students. He then asked me how I felt. I said "MMMMMMMMM!" Everyone laughed. It was fun, but a little nerve-racking until they finally untaped me.

[bcasbcjs]

A student in summer school math the other day refused to take the pretest. She replied I don't want to take the pretest because I don't understand the math. Just give me the test.

[bcasbcjs]

Also in my high school summer science class a student wanted to share some information with me about babies. She replied very smartly "You know what Ms. Morris...test tube babies do not have belly buttons. I know this for a fact. " My mouth dropped open and I had to step on my foot to keep from telling her she was crazy. I then calmly explained about "test tube babies."